Black Women Learning to “Submit”: What Does that REALLY Mean? (Video)
by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Your Black World
Given the importance of the critical theme of black relationships (which we’re hitting from various angles this week on YBW), I had to get another perspective on some of the things that folks are quoting from the bible as it pertains to how black relationships need to be structured. What does it mean for a black man to “lead” in his relationship? What does it mean for a woman to “submit?” One thing that many of us can agree on is the fact that black relationships have been falling apart for a very long time. The majority of our homes are being run by a single parent, and far too many children are growing up without their fathers in shouting distance. What some don’t acknowledge is that there is a direct correlation between the break down of the black family and the growth of the prison industrial complex. Locking up men for decades for the sale of drugs that were brought into our communities has devastated many of us, and urban decay in the 1980s led to job losses with few viable alternatives to illegal activity. A recent study in The Economist showed that a one percentage point increase in the incarceration rate leads to a 2.4 percent decline in the percentage of black women who eventually get married.
With that said, there is also the reality that we must face in that men are growing up without knowing the responsibilities of fatherhood, and there are women growing up who have no clue on how to deal with a man in a healthy relationship. This legitimate lack of trust creates ill-will in our families that ultimately hurts our children. Mo’Nique on BET took the debate to another level on her talk show by effectively arguing that this whole breakdown occurs because black women don’t know how to “submit.” She seemed to believe that it’s the black woman’s desire to "carry around the penis,” that leaves many of them single and lonely.
We got the young woman’s take on Your Black World from Diamond Breland, but it’s also important to get the take from a woman with another point of view. That’s why I spoke with Deborrah Cooper from SurvivingDating.com, and we discussed the issue in the video below. For those who haven’t seen the episode in which Mo’Nique goes on her tirade about women learning to submit, that video is below as well.
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The clip from the Mo’Nique Show is below: