Lola Adesioye on Black Women and Dating
by Lola Adesioye, Huffington Post
Over the past few months, black women and their relationships – or should I say, lack thereof – have been getting a lot of attention. The Washington Posthas done a couple of features on it. Then ABC’sNightline did a show asking why there are so many single black women.
All of a sudden the mainstream media is taking a keen interest in our love lives. We are being told that there is a ‘crisis’ amongst black women, particularly educated professional women, who are apparently unable to find a ‘decent’ black man.
Last night, ABC continued once again, with the airing of "Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?," a taped discussion featuring Hill Harper, Steve Harvey, The View’s Sherri Shepherd and others.
There’s no doubt that it’s a topic that sparks heated debates and discussions amongst black women and men. It has for years. But is it really that bad? Or is the media – now that it has found a hot topic – exploiting this issue for all that it’s worth? I’m an educated black woman and I personally have no problem with meeting eligible, educated, great black men. Whether or not I choose to date them is another thing, but they are out there.
I am somewhat perturbed by the slew of stories on this topic. They are negative, unhelpful and only serve to perpetuate negative ideas about black men and women which often become self-fullfiling. They basically say ‘oh, poor black women. They try so hard yet can’t find a decent man … Boo hoo, black women are victims. Ooh, it’s all the fault of those pathetic black men. You know, they have no education or are locked up in jail.’ Sorry, but I do not subscribe to that view.