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New Study: What Makes Women Want to have Sex?
From CNN
What makes a woman want to have sex? Is it physical attraction? Love? Loneliness? Jealousy? Boredom? Painful menstrual cramps?
Many women interviewed were having sex purely because they wanted the experience.
It turns out that woman have sex for all of these reasons and more, and that their choices are not arbitrary; there may be evolutionary explanations at work.
Psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss, both professors at the University of Texas at Austin, decided that the topic of "why women have sex" deserved a book of its own. They’ve woven scientific research together with a slew of women’s voices in their new collaborative work, "Why Women Have Sex," published September 29 by Times Books.
"We do bring in men occasionally by way of contrast, but we wanted to focus exclusively on women so that the complexity of women’s sexualpsychology was not given the short shrift, so to speak," said Buss, a leading evolutionary psychologist.
The authors conducted a study from June 2006 to April 2009 that asked women whether they had ever had sex for one of 237 reasons, all of which had emerged in a previous study. About 1,000 women contributed their perspectives. 
Watch women answer The Question »
It turns out that women’s reasons for having sex range from love to pure pleasure to a sense of duty to curiosity to curing a headache. Some women just want to please their partners, and others want an ego boost.
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African American Woman Named Surgeon General
President Barack Obama turned to the Deep South for the next surgeon general, choosing a rural Alabama family physician who made headlines with fierce determination to rebuild her nonprofit medical clinic in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.
Dr. Regina Benjamin is known along Alabama’s impoverished Gulf Coast as a country doctor who makes house calls and doesn’t turn away patients who can’t pay — even as she’s had to find the money to rebuild a clinic repeatedly destroyed by hurricanes and once even fire.
"For all the tremendous obstacles that she has overcome, Regina Benjamin also represents what’s best about health care in America, doctors and nurses who give and care and sacrifice for the sake of their patients," Obama said Monday in introducing his choice for a job known as America’s doctor.
Is Your Butt Too Big and In Your Own Face?
How many of us just hates when someone stands in front of us blocking our view, especially when we are sitting down in a seat like at a concert? Now, you really can’t see or enjoy your favorite music artist that you paid, let’s say $90, to watch perform your favorite hit. Tell the truth. How many of you would touch the person blocking your view and ask them to move out of your way? Others might just sit there and complain while missing out on what is happening because for whatever reason, he or she decides to do nothing.
Earlier today I had a meeting with a client. We met to help her identify what she believed she wanted and needed to do to better herself and her situation. I simply asked one question, “what do you want to do?” She said, “anything, I just need a job.” Her response was desperate and too vague. After a little coaching and conversation she said, “I really want to go to school.”
With this in mind, I told her that at the college level she could apply for a ‘work-study position” where the school she would attend pays her a small stipend and allows flexible working hours for her to successfully complete her classes. She looked surprised and slightly relieved until SHE starting talking about all of the past bad things that she had experienced while in school. Fifteen years ago, she was told by a teacher that she had a learning disability and needed more time to read and process her work. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do it. It would only take her a little longer to finish.
WNBA Candace Parker is Pregnant
Candace Parker is wearing a simple white dress and the biggest smile imaginable. She is cradling her belly, which carries her unborn child, as she poses for this cover of a magazine aimed at readers who expect to see LeBron or Manny.
But on the cover of the issue of ESPN the Magazine that will be on newsstands Friday it is Parker, the Sparks star, who will look the buyer in the eye beside the headline, "How Big Can Candace Parker Get?"
"I’m proud of my child, excited about my child and I’m excited about the opportunity to have a child and be an athlete," said Parker, 22, on Wednesday. She is home in Los Angeles now, settled in to wait for this first child for her and husband Shelden Williams, a forward for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
Oprah Warns Rihanna Publicly
Oprah Winfrey (left) has publicly warned Rihanna to stay away from Chris Brown, saying he will assault her again. HOLLYWOOD – OPRAH Winfrey has publicly warned Rihanna to stay away from Chris Brown, saying he will assault her again.
"Both Chris Brown and Rihanna, if I were your friend, I would call you up and I would say, ‘Give it some time, get yourself some counselling, take care of yourself, heal yourself first,’" Oprah said.
"Love doesn’t hurt. I’ve been saying this to women for years – love doesn’t hurt. And if a man hits you once, he will hit you again. He will hit you again. I don’t care what his plea is, he will hit you again.’
Chrianna Rumored to Have Gotten Married?!
Did Chris Brown and Rihanna get married while they were in Miami over the weekend?
Star magazine is reporting that the couple, who are currently weathering a firestorm of controversy after supposedly reconciling post-alleged beating incident, were secretly married while staying at Diddy’s Star Island house in Miami.
Brown and Rihanna reportedly had a tearful meeting in which Brown is said to have apologized for physically attacking her, and proposed to her.
And the 20-year-old singer reportedly forgave him.
Black News: Rihanna Plans to Testify for Chris Brown
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Rihanna is ready to testify on Chris Brown’s behalf, will admit to her part in the incident.
According to MediaTakeOut.com – Rihanna has agreed to "speak to the [prosecutor's] on Chris’ behalf." The snitch continued, “Rihanna doesn’t want this to go any further, she will be speaking to [prosecutors] and – if need be – admit to her part in the [incident].”
Beyonce’s New Japanese Ad
Beyonce has a new Samantha Thavasa ad out, and I must say she is looking FAB!!! This is Bey’s second time appearing in one of these ads, but too bad we won’t be seeing them in the states, the ads will only be displayed throughout Japan.
Lil’ sis Solange stepped in too!!!
Labels: Beyonce, black celebrity gossip
posted by N. Taylor @ 9:19 PM 0 comments
T-Boz from TLC Pops Up Again
Donald Trump probably knows TLC as the cable network, not the biggest female group of the 1990s.
In fact, the host of “Celebrity Apprentice” (season two debuting Sunday on NBC at 9 p.m.) had trouble pronouncing Atlanta’s own Tionne “T Boz” Watkins’ first name. Watkins said he kept saying “T-own” instead of of the proper “T-on.” So after awhile, he just called her “T.”
Hip hop “is probably not part of his world,” she mused in a phone interview Tuesday.
But Watkins said she did not go out of her way to kiss his tuckus. Plus, “I didn’t Omarosa it,” she said, turning one of the most infamous “Apprentice” contestants of yore into a verb. Compared to the likes of Andrew “Dice” Clay and Dennis Rodman, “I made boring TV.”
Rather, she focused on making sure the Sickle Cell Foundation was front and center, not her ego. What makes her charity hit so close to home is she was born with Sickle Cell and has had to cope with the fatigue and a weak immune system all her life. See her video below:
What Does Your Man’s Body Look Like?
Ladies how important is it for your man or boo to be in shape, body right?
I’m wondering because I’m always obsessing about my body, more importantly my lack of muscle tone. Lol, seriously the people that know me, know me as the “Food Nazi”. Don’t even think about eating greasy fatty foods around me, I’ll go bizerick.
Oddly enough lately the “chubbsters” have been hollering. I think its because we’re making it too easy for them to feel sexy, “Oh Big Daddy”, well I’m just not into it.
So I’m pretty open about my body, its beauty and flaws. I dated this guy a while back, and he had a nice athletic build. I actually loved his body.
Anyway he knew that I’m all about fitness and eating right, even though sometimes I go weeks without squatting shit and eating emotionally. I’m Human! I just use my Joe’s jeans to keep me in check, when those bad boys don’t fit; it’s time to quit! {Like right now!}
So one day my little porn star surprised me with a gift. He bought me a P90X! Have your heard of it? It’s a set of intense workout DVDs; there are 13 DVD’s in the set that you have to commit to for 90 days! It’s supposed to really “transform” your body. I didn’t know what to make of this! Was this motherfucker calling me Fat?? I mean P90X ain’t no cheap shit, its expensive. So that really got me thinking, “He thinks I really have a problem?”OMG!! And I’m naked all time and he gives me P90X! Confused and convinced that we would have sex no more, I turned to my girls, who all assured that he probably got it for me because he knows how crazy I am are about my body! Of course we were still together after that, he thought I would have loved the gift. But I didn’t.
P90X is no joke, you are literally co-signing for this man, Tony Horton, to come up into your house and Kick Your Ass! No thanks! Please note that P90x is still collecting dust on top of my fridge, no less! Lol
This story has sparked my mission {our mission join me} of no longer rebounding. I’ll be 30 and I’m going to be super tight, with a fluffy round bottom of course!
Is this just some women shit? Ladies are you satisfied with the way your man looks, when he strips for you? Or is he leaving his tee shirt on to cover his double D’s or bird chest? Or is he soo hippy and doesn’t want you to see his girlie bottom so he sometimes leaves his boxers on, like we’re in high school sneaking a phuck! Lol.
As women I think we are so much more forgiving and tend to think his belly is cute, and adds character. Meanwhile, he isn’t smiling at those dimples on your ass, or that little muffin top you’ve been rocking.
So I’m saying today that I don’t like “Chubby”, I’m putting in the work and so should he! Women should be nice and soft to touch and men need to be hard and strong! Get it!
*** P.S. I’ve decided to get my Pilates Certification! So stay tuned to my fit tricks!
Posted by Nicole Spence at 9:23 AM 6 comments
Domestic Violence and Family Impact
By Hugh V. Collins and Syreeta L. McNeal, CPA, JD
I know everyone is talking about the alleged domestic assault and battery that occurred between Chris Brown and Rihanna during the weekend of February 7 – 8, 2009. Recently, MTV, US Weekly and People magazine did specials or cover stories regarding the incident. Gossip organizations like Mediatakeout.com and TMZ.com all had their spin on what transpired. Many people are expressing outrage and taking sides. Some people have stated that Rihanna must have done something and deserved to get beat by Chris Brown while others believe that Chris Brown had no right whatsoever to lay a hand on Rihanna regardless of the argument between them. Well, domestic abuse is more common and more people in the U.S. and in the world have witnessed some form of domestic abuse in their lives or among their families. According to the U.S. Department of Justice’s Bureau of Justice Statistics report in 2005, one in 320 households were affected by intimate partner violence. Also, they report that female victims are more likely to be victimized by intimates than male victims.
What? Chris Brown Trying to Win Back Rihanna
According to the NY Daily News:
Chris called Rihanna to wish her a happy birthday,” an insider tells us. “He’s absolutely trying to get back into her good graces. He knows he’s very much in the doghouse right now, and is doing everything he can to show her how sorry he is.”
But Brown seems to think a few well-placed birthday gifts can salve his ex’s wounds. He has already sent the “Good Girl Gone Bad” singer a diamond bracelet and necklace, an insider tells us, as well as an iPod Touch. Plus, Brown’s mom, Joyce, who is said to adore Rihanna, sent over a bouquet of flowers.”
Yeah, we’re pretty sure Rihanna already own an iPod for Goddsakes, and while the jewelry and flowers were nice, we’re just not sure this erases everything Chris. Nice try, though.
Chris Brown on Saturday Night Live?
Saturday Night Live cast member Kenan Thompson got into some trouble by stating that his show would be open to having Chris Brown as their special guest.
According to Kenan, "It’s not up to me, but I’m sure we would if he had another hit single. We don’t care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings!"
Rihanna’s Family Speaks on Brown
Rihanna‘s family is opening up about the relationship between Rihanna and Chris Brown after an alleged altercation before the Grammy Awards that left Rihanna injured and Brown arrested.
One family member told People.com that Brown "flew so far under everyone’s radar that we just didn’t think he was that [abusive] type." The relative added that the news comes as a surprise because "he was always looking after her needs making sure she was happy."
The relative agreed with Rihanna’s dad, Ronald Fenty, who thinks his superstar daughter should "move on" from the relationship. "I don’t want her to go back to him," the family member said. "I don’t think anyone does."
Earlier this week, Kimora Lee Simmons, who was showing her line Baby Phat during New York Fashion Week, spoke about the incident with The Associated Press, saying she saw the pair earlier in the night before news broke.
Black Love: Is He ready to Commit? How you can Tell
Every woman knows how hard it is when she puts in serious time with a guy who refuses to commit… until he moves on to his next girlfriend, and then suddenly, he’s springing for a rock. Single women assume that a guy will pop the question once he finds someone he’s compatible with, i.e., The One. But that’s not enough to push him over the edge, according to clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD, author of "If Men Could Talk." What, then, does it take?
"Being ready," says Gratch. "In my 25 years of experience working with men as a relationship therapist, it’s 49 percent the right woman, 51 percent his readiness to commit." That means that compatibility is hugely important. But if he’s not in a marriage mind-set yet, he’s not going to commit to anyone… not even Gisele.
In fact, 81 percent of the married men surveyed by the National Marriage Project said one reason they decided to wed was because it was the right time to settle down.
"Of course, even if a guy is ready to walk down the aisle, he still needs to find the right person," says Gratch. "But he is more likely to meet her once he’s in that marrying state of mind." To help us figure it all out, we asked Gratch to explain. Here, he divulges the five factors that make a man want to take the plunge.
Baby Phat Fashion Show – Kimora’s Spoiled Little Girls
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Posted By Lady Drama to Your Black Gossip at 2/18/2009 09:15:00 AM
Your Black Celebs Give their Two Cents on Chrianna
Among those who offered their comments on the subject were Hollywood acquaintances of the pair, including actress Gabrielle Union, who was reluctant to say if she thought Chris Brown was guilty.
"Unfortunately, no one knows all the facts yet… " she said to Warner Brothers’ TV extra website. The "Cadillac Records" star went on to add: "What I think is great about this unfortunate situation is it can get us talking about violence… violence is never the answer. It’s good to get that dialogue started. I wish this wasn’t the catalyst for that… it’s never good to use violence as a means to an end."
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- Rihanna claims she was choked unconscious
- Rihanna left with serious injuries after assault
This opinion seemed to be nearly unanimous, Spice Girls star Mel B spoke out for her friend on Monday, saying "For this to happen to a superstar like her is eye-opening. If the rumours are true then Chris should be punished. No woman deserves to be treated like that – and I hope she knows there’s tons of support for her." According to Mel B the pair became friends in 2008 when they were working in neighbouring studios.
Musical act Aliaune Thiam, better known by his stage name Akon, offered his support for the ‘Umbrella’ star, saying "Keep doing what you’re doing baby. Keep things positive!" The pair collaborated on the song "Emergency Room."
Rapper Lil Kim in Rehearsals
Lil Kim and dancing partner Derek Hough were spotted at Rehearsals for the upcoming season of “Dancing With The Stars”.
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Posted By AutumnJones to yourblackhiphop at 2/17/2009 11:31:00 AM
Black Report: Chris Brown “Saddened” Over Incident
A week after allegedly beating and bruising his pop-star girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown finally released an apologetic statement Sunday via a representative that also discounted media reports claiming he’d commented about the incident on Facebook.
Chris Brown leaves his hotel on January 31, 2009 in Dublin, Ireland. A week after reportedly beating and bruising his pop star girlfriend, Rihanna, Chris Brown finally released a statement via his spokesperson.
"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person," Brown said in the statement released Sunday evening.
"Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong," the statement said. "While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writings under my name are frauds."
While Rihanna has yet to speak out about the alleged fight, her father, Ronald Fenty, said that Brown hit her in an interview with People magazine Saturday. Describing Rihanna’s current condition after seeing her Thursday, Fenty said, "There is some bruising. She will be all right. I think so." "At some point, she will speak out. I hope she will stand up for women all over the world," he said.
Chris Brown Finally Addresses the Public
For over a week it seems that everyone but Chris Brown and Rihanna had something to say about their domestic violence incident, but Chris has finally broken his silence. Chris released a statement earlier today, check out what he had to say below.
“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writing under my name are frauds.”
I am definitely glad to see that he is seeking help, and I kind of feel a little sorry for him.
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Posted By N. Taylor to Your Black Gossip at 2/15/2009 08:59:00 PM
Crazy, Stupid or Brilliant? Readers Defending Chris Brown
R&B superstar couple Rihanna and Chris Brown have recently found themselves even more in the spotlight due to their private-turned-public "disturbia" situation. After reports surfaced that Brown allegedly injured the singer to the point where she had to be treated at a "major medical facility" after a quarrel, readers took to the blogs to surprisingly defend the male sex symbol. Since the emergence of the story, we’ve received over 150 comments regarding the situation.
WHITNEY wrote: I’M STILL GOING TO SUPPORT CHRIS BROWN UNTIL THE END. I DONT CARE IF HE DID IT OR NOT. OBVIOUSLY SHE PROVOKED HIM AND EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES SO, IM NOT GOING TO DOWN TALK HIM NOR TRY TO BRING HIM DOWN LIKE THE WHITE MEDIA IS GOING TO. HE’S STILL A KID. KIDS MAKE DUMB CHOICES EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. GIVE THE KID A BREAK IT’S HIS FIRST TIME IN HIS 4 YEAR CAREER.
shukura wrote: By the way, from what I understand Chris Brown is not from the ghetto and and domestic violence happens everywhere. For anyone to suggest that only ghetto people hit their mates is ludicrous. Gosh, why do people always have to resort to racism when something happens in the news. It gets old and very tired.
Your Black News: Usher’s Wife Recovering After Heart Attack
The wife of R&B singer Usher continues to recover in a Sao Paulo hospital after suffering a cardiac arrest shortly before undergoing plastic surgery, the spokeswoman of the doctor who was to perform the procedure said Thursday.
Ellen Dastry, spokeswoman for plastic surgeon Silvio Sterman, says Tameka Raymond checked into the Sao Rafael Hospital last Friday for a "simple liposuction." Dastry said that Raymond suffered a cardiac arrest while being anesthetized for the procedure "but was revived in less than a minute by heart massage." She was then placed in an induced coma before being taken to the intensive-care unit, a procedure Dastry said was "absolutely normal" and performed in order to "avoid unnecessary complications."
Your Black President: 18-year old Tolu Olorunda Breaks Down Fox News and “Mainstream” Media
Most would agree that FOX News, Rupert Murdoch’s crumbling empire, has not been exactly fair to Black people over the years. In fact, it has, whenever possible, vehemently attacked whoever it perceived to be an important factor in Black America. At any given opportunity, its multi-millionaire hosts have encouraged, entertained and enlisted the support of pundits who openly detest Black people, and feel undaunted in speaking out publicly about it. Occasionally, when the fruits seem too ripe to withstand, the hosts themselves, caught in the hysteria of race-intoxication, spill out their guts about their disdain for Black humanity.
An example of this occurred in September 2007, when FOX News’ top-rated host, Bill O’Reilly, narrated a recent encounter he had at a Black Harlem Restaurant – Sylvia’s. As O’Reilly claims, this experience was life-changing, because “there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship.” O’Reilly later continued: “There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, ‘M-Fer, I want more iced tea’.” The host, undisciplined by the network, would thereafter suggest that not only were his words misconstrued, but he deserves an apology from his detractors, because their nitpicking plays a part in stalling ongoing racial progress.
Lady Drama: Rapper Jay Z Furious at Chris Brown
In more Chris and Rihanna news a website called contact music is reporting that Jay Z is furious about the recent incident with Rihanna (like we didn’t already know that)! In any event read the juice below:
CHRIS BROWN is set to incur the wrath of hip-hop king JAY-Z over his alleged assault on R&B star RIHANNA. Brown was arrested on Sunday (08Feb09) for felony battery after an incident with an as yet unidentified woman, reported to be Rihanna, in a vehicle in Los Angeles.
And Jay-Z, who discovered and mentored Rihanna, was reportedly enraged upon hearing the allegations, warning of retributions for Brown. A source tells Us Weekly magazine, “He hit the roof. Chris is a walking dead man. He messed with the wrong crew.”
I’ll just be glad when this is a wrap because like the elastic on some old undies it’s getting stretched out to capacity!
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Posted By Lady Drama to Your Black Gossip at 2/11/2009 08:40:00 AM
Dr Boyce Watkins: What Love Means to Me
Brought to you by The Great Black Speakers Bureau – The #1 Black Speakers Bureau in the world.
To get financial advice from Dr. Boyce, please visit www.DrBoyceMoney.com. To see video commentary from Dr. Boyce, please click here.
Dr. Boyce Watkins
FYI: I should be on the NPR show "Tell Me More with Michel Martin", a journalist for whom I have tremendous respect. We recorded today with Shelby Steele, a conservative scholar out at Stanford and another scholar named Jon Powell, at Ohio State. The conversation is interesting, and I recommend you give it a listen. You can learn more about the show at this link: http://www.npr.org/blogs/tellmemore/.
I also got another call yesterday from "The Big O"…yes, you know who I am talking about. Apparently, there is some interest in my Financial Lovemaking Book. I’ll keep you posted on that one, since I am not 100% sure if my demographic matches that of the Great Ms. Winfrey. While I feel that Financial Lovemaking can work well for her audience, my alignment with the hip hop community may make for an awkward fit. The fact that I engage in critical analysis (meaning that no one is 100% good or 100% bad) means that I sometimes make enemies in this game because of my refusal to kiss anyone’s butt too much. But I do give respect where it is due, and I consider Oprah to be an amazing role model for all of us. The same goes for President Obama.
In light of the fact that Valentine’s Day is coming, I was thinking about the whole idea of love. I must also admit that I thought about love when I noticed the singer Chris Brown might have ruined his career in this mad situation with Rihanna (apparently, there may be some abuse in that relationship, I’m not sure). Either way, I think that anyone who has been young and in a relationship understands how stupid and crazy things can happen. I’ve never considered Chris Brown to be a bad person. But he may have done a bad thing.
Seeing the huge loss that these two young people may have imposed on their lives (Chris and Rihanna), led me to reflect on love and what it means to me. Here is my personal perspective on love….love it or hate it (haha).
What Love Should and Should Not Be
By Dr. Boyce Watkins
I’ve lived a bit of life and made my share of mistakes. But as a professor, I am trained to learn from poor choices and grow from them. Most processes have a purpose and a pattern. If you think hard enough and honestly confront your failures, triumphs and observations, you can usually walk away with a bit of insight. The term “No pain, no gain”, can certainly be applied in the game of love, and I intend to gain from my own personal portfolio of blissful heartache.
So, I’ve come up with some “Rules of Love” out of respect for Valentine’s Day. It’s not scientific and not a fit for everyone. But it comes from the head, the heart and all the other body parts I can’t mention in this article. So, at least you know it’s sincere.
Love should be RESPECTED: One of the silliest things I see in some relationships is that people seem to be most interested in chasing the person who loves them the least, while kicking their greatest admirers to the curb. They choose the best option they can GET instead of the best option they’ve already GOT. There is something that people love about a challenge. It can be a natural instinct to equate kindness with weakness and easy access with a lack of value. Many of us are guilty of crying over the person who ignores us and ignoring the person who cries for us. Someone who gives you their heart can also take it away, so we must respect those who’ve truly earned it.
Love should be EXPECTED: Part of the reason that some of us spend our time chasing the loser who doesn’t love us is because deep down, we feel that someone who cares for us must be flawed or unworthy of our time. On the other hand, it is easy to feel sorry for yourself when you see that the one you usually want doesn’t want you back. The truth of the matter is that if someone disrespects the appreciation you are showing toward them, then they don’t deserve your love anyway. You should love yourself enough to walk away from those who choose not to treat you as you deserve to be treated.
Love should be given to YOURSELF: Part of demanding the love that you deserve is engaging in the difficult art of SELF LOVE. Many times, we look in the emotional mirror and see blemishes, flaws, faults, mistakes and the ugliest sides of who we are. Rather than greeting the world with our heads held high, we keep our heads down and hope no one notices that we are not as good as everyone else. Loving yourself is similar to learning to love another person: there is a point where you must simply accept the flaws. You must realize that you are no more defective and no more perfect than everyone else, and that you too deserve to be happy. If you can’t love yourself, then it’s damn near impossible to truly love someone else, since you are only offering them what you perceive to be damaged goods.
Love is meant to be CELEBRATED: I’ve admittedly never been able to fully grasp the concept of homosexuality, but I’ve never had a problem with gay marriage. One thing I believe is that love was created by GOD: that includes love between a man and a woman, a man and a man or a woman and a woman. There should not be religious, social or racial boundaries imposed on meaningful love, for we do not get to choose the shape, size or complexion of the package. When God blesses someone with such a powerful connection, this love should be celebrated by all of us and not judged or held in contempt. Melting someone’s halo of happiness by dousing it with a flood of hate is a counter-productive use of our time and a wasteful spiritual endeavor.
Valentine’s Day is meant to be YEAR ROUND: You should not need a special holiday to show someone you love them. You should tell them something good, positive, and affirming every time you see them, because this will make that person feel good. You should not need corporate America’s permission and some hyper-commercialized holiday as your excuse to show affection. I encourage you to say ten nice things per day to people you care about, which may include complimenting them on their clothes, their hair, their personality, their beauty or their presence. It will make them feel good and leave a lasting psychological impact. Our words are “emotional money” and we should be consistently making donations.
Love should be REFLECTIVE: The hardest way to get what you want is to selfishly pursue it, take it or relentlessly absorb it. That’s like waiting for your paycheck and never showing up for work. If you are in a truly loving situation, you get what you want by REFLECTING IT. If you WANT more success out of life, you GIVE more hard work. If you WANT better grades, you GIVE more time to the library. If you WANT more appreciation from your partner, you GIVE more attention and affection. If you choose to share your love with someone who deserves it, then they will give the love right back to you, with interest. Like a healthy economy, the cycle will become recursive and productive trade increases the value of each partner’s “Life Portfolio”. In pleasure, pain and everything in between, to get more, you must give more. You must also make payments in the currency deemed most valuable to your partner. There’s no way around that fact.
Love should be PRACTICED: Love is not just a feeling, an emotion, a whim or something that makes your skin shiver. Loving someone is a DELIBERATE ACT and a series of habits designed to sustain and maintain the relationship you have with one another. The work of the greatest writers in history was not always driven by inspiration and a desire to write…..sometimes, it was the act of sitting down each day and forcing themselves to write which eventually inspired them to do their greatest work. In other words, love is a series of proactive habits, choices and behaviors that correlate with your desire to have a meaningful and stable relationship with another person. It’s not something you just randomly “fall into” and “out of”…..it is something you choose to do.
Love should be CONTEMPLATED: When it comes to dating, I tell my daughter and God daughters the following: “If a man is not someone you can see raising your children, then don’t even go out on the first date.” They look at me like I’m crazy, but the point is simple: While you cannot easily choose to release yourself from the psychological grips of love, you have some ability to choose who you are going to fall in love with in the beginning. Most of us don’t meet someone and decide that we are going to be with this person for years. There is always the first glance, the first date, the first kiss, the first touch, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a situation that doesn’t make any sense to you. So, if you don’t start with point A, you can never reach point Z. This makes the most sense when you can see that point Z is not the place you want to visit with this particular person.
Love should be REMEMBERED: A big challenge for many young or single people (and even those who are married) is that we spend our time chasing the love and affection that is most intriguing to our hormones, while ignoring the love that is most tried and true. A man might spend hours on the phone with a pretty lady who doesn’t even like him, but simultaneously ignore his grandmother who would gladly give her life for him. Valentine’s Day is not just the day you send “sweets to your sweetie”. It is also the day you shower love on your mother, brother, sister, father, best friend, homeboy, children, grand parents and all the people who will love you long after your sweetie has become sweet on someone else. In the city of love, new buildings are shiniest and most appealing. But the older buildings are the sturdiest and most enduring.
Love is LIFE: Not only does the act of love create and sustain life, it is also the greatest part of our journey through life. We may or may not remember or be inspired by our professional or educational achievements, but we have an immediate and powerful emotional reaction when we reflect on the love we’ve experienced over the years. Thinking about children, family or ex-lovers can create an emotional response that can’t be matched by a corporate job or advanced degree. I tell my students that one of the most important decisions they will ever make is who they choose to spend their lives with. I’ve seen many people drive themselves down the path to hell by choosing to share their love with someone who deserves it the least. Like the most amazing roller coaster, the journey of love is long, complicated, exciting, scary and fulfilling. So, while we’re on this journey, we should make sure we turn on the GPS.
Happy Valentine’s Day and I hope this day inspires you to find the love that exists in your life. It’s all around you if you learn to look for it. Even in an economy like this one, the love in your life can make you a billionaire.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University. For more information, please visit www.BoyceWatkins.com.
Kanye, TI Speak on Chris Brown and Rihanna
Not only are all the blogs talking about the assault that Rihanna endured from Chris Brown, now their celeb friends are speaking out too. Rapper Kanye West expressed his feeling about the situation earlier today stating,
She (Rihanna) has the potential to be the greatest artist of all time and, in that sense,…… I feel like that’s my baby sis and I would do any and everything to help her in any situation,… I feel like, just as a person, I don’t care how famous she is or even if she just worked at McDonald’s, that should never happen. It should never come to that place"
Rapper T.I. also commented on the situation on the Last Call With Carson Daly Show. See what he had to say below.
Seems like they both are taking sides, and since Kanye said he would do ANY and EVERYTHING for Rihanna maybe he can whoop Chris for her!!!
Labels: black celebrity gossip, Chris Brown, chris brown and rihanna domestic violence, kanye west, T.I.
Chris Brown Prosecution Assisted by Rihanna
R&B star Rihanna is cooperating with investigators building a domestic violence case against her boyfriend, the singer Chris Brown, a police source said Monday.
The source said the 20-year-old performer, whose full name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty, was providing "ongoing" cooperation to detectives who booked Brown on Sunday on suspicion of making criminal threats against her.
An early morning altercation with Brown after a pre-Grammy Awards party left Rihanna with bruises and a scratch on her face, according to police sources. She was treated at a "major medical facility," a police source said.
Brown, 19, has a double-platinum record and dance moves often compared to Michael Jackson’s. He fled before officers arrived, police said.
He remained free on $50,000 bail, but neither he nor his attorney would speak about allegations that rocked the Grammys ceremony. Brown and Rihanna were both nominated; neither attended the ceremony.
The fight occurred after midnight on a quiet block in Hancock Park, where Brown had stopped a rented Lamborghini he was driving. According to police, several people saw or heard a loud, violent confrontation. The luxury car was impounded because the alleged assault may have begun in the vehicle, a police source said.
Report: Usher Going to Miss the Grammies
Seems like there are going to be a few big time artist missing from this years Grammys. Chris Brown won’t be in attendance because of his investigation, Rihanna won’t be either, and now it looks like Usher won’t be. Usher canceled his performance at Clive Davis’s Annual Pre-Grammy party due to a "family emergency", which involved his wife Tameka. It has been reported that Tameka is experiencing complication from her recent plastic surgery, but these reports haven’t been confirmed. Now I usually don’t have anything nice to say about her but I hope she has a safe and speedy recovery.
Singer CHRIS BROWN Also Charged With "Assault with a deadly Weapon"
via AutumnJones by autumnjonesblog@gmail.com (AutumnJones) on 2/9/09
(Rihanna in this picture looks like she’s crying)
The above pictures show Rihanna and Chris at both the gas station and leaving Clive Davis pre-grammy party in Chris’s Lambo. This was all just minutes before the alleged attack.
Various media outlets are confirming that Rihanna is indeed the reported victim, as everyone speculated. The LAPD is expected to give a briefing on the case later on this evening (PST).
As I reported earlier Chris has been charged with one count felony criminal threats however new reports state Chris will likely also be charged with a Deadly Weapons charge. According to several outlets the report is stating Rihanna who’s real name is (Robyn Rihanna Fenty) is the victim. These charges could result in up to 9 years in prison for Chris. Chris’s court date has been set to March 5th.
Of course Rumors are spreading stating that Rihanna gave Chris Herpes, being that she was spotted with a cold sore a few weeks back, drunken fight, and to a jealous rage and fight due to another man/woman being in the picture.
Word is also that this is not the first time that their relationship has gotten physical.
Chris has discussed openly about how his stepfather was physically abusive toward his mother. Chris has also secured high powered attorney Mark Geragos, the same lawyer for Michael Jackson who helped him defeat those molestation charges.
****Chris Brown Being Investigated for Felony Battery (LINK)
THIS story is still developing
Nicole Spence: Is 30 the New 20?
Nicole Spence – Relationship Guru
I’m a sexy soon to be 30year old woman… not quite at that the age where I could be labeled a Cougar. So, of course the notion of dating younger men seemed like a big waste of time! Why, you ask? Because in my mind, I’m like WTF is he ready for? And when I say young, I literally mean anyone below two years younger than me. Pointless! But you know what? I’ll be 30 soon, so, I’m all about doing things differently and seeing what the outcome will be….
A girlfriend of mine, let’s call her "Renee" recently started dating (or let’s just say hooking up) with a younger guy. She is 30 and the guy is 26! Once she mentioned his age, I was like “Oh Please K.I.M {Keep It Moving}.” Then the story grew even more stereotypical…drum roll please…he wants to be a Rapper!! WTF?? Who has time to deal with that headache? "Not I" said the Cat LOL! The voyeur that I am found this story to be very interesting, because my formerly sex starved friend then began to describe a “sexcapade” of 10 rounds! Whew! Nice! I’m Jealous!
Apparently, this young lad never grew tired or limp (giggles). He wasn’t the dreaded "one nutter"! My girlfriend who once shared my same sentiments: " MF is too young K.I.M!" was now lying spooned up with this young buck! She felt comfortable, so she was honest about her initial reaction to his career aspirations {wack}! To her surprise, she found out that "The Rapper" has a degree in Marketing, and can write his ass off! Light bulb! He’s talented. Being that’s she’s in the entertainment field, they discussed other avenues where his skills could be used like "advertising". Then, they rested in between sessions and had a building dialogue. Now, this sex buddy doesn’t seem that pointless. They had a great weekend of; I repeat 10 rounds {still jealous}! You never know they could be really good friends, or dare I say, "future Boos!”
I don’t know but it has me wondering… Is Young More Fun?
Ladies, is young more fun? Hit me up and tell about your experience with younger guys…
Your Black News: LAPD Investigates Chris Brown for Allegedly Hitting a Female
Chris Brown is under investigation for alleged domestic violence felony battery, the LAPD confirms to PEOPLE.
“The identity of the victim will not be released,” said Officer April Harding. “Any victim who’s involved in a domestic violence incident is entitled to confidentiality.”
Around 12:30 a.m. on Sunday, the R&B singer and a woman were in a vehicle in L.A. when they became involved in an argument, according to a police statement. After stopping his car, Brown and the woman got out and the argument escalated. The woman suffered visible injuries and identified Brown as her attacker, according to police.
The LAPD received a 911 call reporting the disturbance.When officers arrived they found the victim, but Brown had already left the scene, the statement reads. The LAPD is conducting an investigation into the incident. Earlier Saturday night Brown and girlfriend Rihanna were at the Recording Academy and Clive Davis’s Pre-Grammy Gala in Beverly Hills.
Senior Black Couple Sets Record with 84-year Marriage
Liz Bowles/Sun Journal
Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher have set a world record as the oldest living couple married the longest.
September 13, 2008 – 10:48PM
Francine Sawyer
Sun Journal Staff
A Craven County couple are in the Guinness World Records book.
The two did nothing outlandish such as sky-diving upside down, dancing for days, taking the longest lawn mower ride or having the most tattoos.
No, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of the Brownsville community have been married for more than 84 years. That is a feat in itself.
They have the world record of the longest marriage for a living couple.
They can thank their granddaughter Iris Godette for getting the recognition. She submitted the information to the Guinness Book of Records..
The information was apparently checked by Guinness and a certificate was given to the couple.
However, when you ask Herbert about the Guinness recognition, he just says, “Oh, Yeah?” The recognition has not changed their life.
He still looks at her with love and concern, as she looks toward him as if he will give her strength and guidance.
They have lived for more than 50 years in a house near the Coastal Carolina Regional Airport . They lived in James City before that but the land was purchased for apartments and the two moved.
Herbert was born June 10, 1905. His hearing is going but his mind is sharp. Zelmyra was born Dec. 10, 1907. She uses a walker to get around the house and yard. The two of them can still give their reasons for marrying on May 13, 1924.
“He was not mean; he was not a fighter,” Zelmrya said. “He was quiet and kind. He was not much to look at but he was sweet.”
Herbert said Zelmyra never gave him any trouble. “No, no trouble at all. We never argued, but we might have disagreed,” he said.
Norma Godette, one of the couple’s five children. said her parents have gotten along well through the years.
“One time, mama wanted to work. Daddy told her she could not work, that he could take care of the family. She slipped down to Cherry Point and got a job as a caretaker there,” Godette said.
“Well, it was done; she got the job. I had to let it be,” Herbert said.
Different religions did not tear the two apart. He is a member of Pilgrim Chapel Missionary Baptist Church . She is a member of Jones Chapel African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church . The churches are in James City , where they both grew up. For all of their married life they have attended their own churches. They go their own ways on Sunday morning.She reads the Bible daily.
The two watch television together. “We separate when the baseball comes on,” Zelmyra said.
Herbert loves baseball, especially the Atlanta Braves. He also enjoys golf, because one of his son-in-laws plays the game.
They have no secret or sage advice as to why their marriage has lasted so long.
“I didn’t know I would be married this long,” Herbert said. “But I lived a nice holy life and go to church every Sunday.
“Yes sir, anything for her.”
Zelmyra said Herbert was the only boyfriend she ever had. “We got along good,” she said. “There was no trouble.”
She said she is not tired of seeing him. “I didn’t think I’d be married this long. He is quiet,” she said.
Zelmyra said her husband had no annoying habits. They both said they shared the title of “boss.”
The two sit on the porch and as a train goes by they count the cars. They also watch the neighbors who walk by.
“They were excellent parents,” said Norma Godette. “We were poor, but we didn’t do without a thing. If he had two cents he saved one cent.”Herbert worked as a mechanic at the Coca-Cola Bottling Company in New Bern for 35 years.
He took a bicycle, caught a cab or had a neighbor drive him to work.
That hard work and savings put all five of the children through college.
Inside the house are plaques, letters of recognition, and awards that both the Fishers and their children received for accomplishments in civic duties and church.
The house where they raised their children has two sitting rooms and three bedrooms. Now that the children are grown, the Fishers enjoy having a bedroom for each. Herbert Fisher can stay up until the last ball is thrown in the ballgame he is watching. And he does.
Herbert makes his bed each day and sweeps his floor.
He also checks on his wife as she rests.
Between the rests, they enjoy their children, ten grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and nieces and nephews.
Both say that if they had it to do over, they would not change their life.
Lady Drama: Etta James Goes Off on Beyonce Over Inauguration Performance
Seems that everyone didn’t like Beyonce’s performance of "At Last" for the Obama’s on inauguration night. The original singer of the song,Etta James, had some harsh words for Beyonce, and even threatened her. During a performance in Seattle Etta told the audience,
"You know, YOUR President, the one with the big ears-he ain’t MY President–had that woman singing for him at his Inauguration. She’s going to get her ass whooped….Beyonce…I can’t stand Beyonce."
DAMN, she was going hard on Obama too. What is she so mad for???
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Posted By N. Taylor to Your Black Gossip at 2/04/2009 08:44:00 PM
Your Black Celebrities: Vivica Fox Turns to Psychic Hotline for Money
Your Black Love: Cheating on the Downlow – What’s Love got to do with it?
By Syreeta L. McNeal, CPA, JD
Recently, New York Knick’s basketball player, Eddy Curry, a married father of several kids, received notice of a sexual-harassment lawsuit by his former limo driver, Kuchinsky. Kuchinsky is alleging that Curry tried to solicit gay sexual activity from him while working as a 24/7 chauffer for the NBA hoop star and his family.[1] With the national press coverage of this story, I am reminded of the movie,Cover, which explored the current situation that appears to be facing many black families. Cover is a film about a devoted, churchgoing wife, and mother whose faith is shattered when she discovers that her husband is living a secret double life.[2] Also, there is a 30-minute internet movie, Results, which tackles the same type of betrayal and shows how the couple tackles it in the span of one night.[3] So, as it relates to married men who happen to cheat on their spouse on thedown low, I ask, what’s love got to do with it? I understand the question is paying tribute to the hit single by Tina Turner. However, I think people should explore the reasons why married men choose to cheat on the down low and should a wife, who takes a vow of fidelity with her husband, continue in the relationship after discovering the betrayal.
People might ask why a lawyer would write an article on a social topic such as married men who cheat on the down low. Well, a lawyer is considered an attorney and counselor at law. When a wife chooses to get a divorce due to infidelity from their husbands cheating on the down low, it is important for lawyers to understand the origin of the relationship and what caused the heartache to their client so that they can effectively provide legal advice and counseling for their client. In a majority of states, infidelity is just one factor in how marital property is divided between former married couples. Even though a wife might want her husband, who cheated on the down low, to get nothing and pay dearly for the betrayal, the courts in a majority of states will not find fault (e.g. infidelity) a determining factor in the division of marital property. Therefore, it behooves the lawyer to try other methods of counseling to explain the law to jilted married clients.
This article will analyze the meaning of love, the reasons why people get married, and what actions people should take to minimize the potential of being married to men who cheat on the down low.
Meaning of Love
Love has many meanings. Webster dictionary defines Love as a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (e.g. maternal love for a child).[4] Also, love is an attraction based on sexual desires (e.g. affection and tenderness felt by lovers).[5] Love is also an affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests (e.g. love for old schoolmates).[6] Also, love is a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion (e.g. love of the sea).[7] Love can also be used as a term of endearment.[8] Love is also the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.[9] Love is a sexual embrace.[10] In all, love embraces a form that is erotic, romantic, familial, platonic, and religious.
Similar to Webster dictionary, Christianity embraces four forms of love: Agapē, Philia, Eros, and Storge.[11] Agapē means charitable, selfless, altruistic, and unconditional.[12] It is parental love seen as creating goodness in the world.[13] It is the way God is seen to love humanity and it is seen as the kind of love that Christians aspire to have for others.[14] Philia is defined as the human response to something that is found to be delightful.[15] Also, it is known as “brotherly love”.[16] Eros is defined as sexual love.[17] Storge is defined as the needy child-to-parent love.[18]
One thing that is fascinating is the explanation of what Eros is. Eros is a very passionate love, with sensual desire and longing.[19] In the classical world, the phenomenon of love was generally understood as a kind of madness or, as the Greeks put it, theia mania (“madness from the gods”).[20] This love passion is best illustrated by a scheme involving “love arrows” or “love darts.”[21] The source of the arrows is said to be the image of the beautiful love object itself.[22] If the arrows arrive at the lover’s eyes, they would then travel to and ‘pierce’ and ‘wound’ his or her heart and overwhelm him/her with desire and longing.[23] This creates an image of an “arrow’s wound” where an oxymoron of pleasure and pain is created.[24]
As illustrated above, love has different meanings. Saying “I love you” to a person can mean a variety of things. The issue for married couples who are dealing with husbands who cheat on the down low isnot whether they love their wives. The issue is what type of love does husbands who cheat on the down low have for their wives. In my opinion, this is the heart of the conflict that exists between married couples who have husbands who cheat on the down low. Next, it is important to understand why people marry.
Why People Marry
Marriage is a social, religious, spiritual or legal union of individuals.[25] People marry for many reasons, but usually they marry for one or more of the following reasons:[26]
· legal, social, and economic stability;
· the formation of a family unit;
· procreation and the education and nurturing of children;
· legitimizing sexual relations;
· public declaration of love; or
· to obtain citizenship
In almost all Protestant forms of Christianity, they hold marriage to be ordained by God for the union between a man and a woman.[27]They see the primary purpose of this union to be to glorify God by demonstrating his love to the world.[28] Other secondary purposes of marriage include intimate companionship, rearing children and mutual support for both husband and wife to fulfill their life callings.[29]
Like love, people marry for a variety of reasons. What is extremely interesting is that when protestant Christians marry their primary purpose is for the union to glorify God. One example of the betrayal for protestant Christians is when married men cheat on the down low. This action is not one that glorifies God especially when the bible states that men (or women) who practice homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of God.[30] So, the conflict exists and men and women need to be aware of who their partners are before entering into marriage.
The Reality of the Conflict of Down Low Activity with Marriage
Some married men who cheat on the down low believe that down low activity is similar when men cheat with other women. I beg to differ. As these movies illustrate, a woman cannot compete with a man sexually. Women and men are not equal in physical form. Men and women have different sexual features and different purposes of use for these features. I equate the differences between men and women similar to placing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together. Do like parts unite or do opposite pieces fit together?
If a married man cheats on the down low, they have a sexual attraction for another man. Sorry ladies. Physically, there is nothing you can do, except do a sex change, to sexually fulfill a man who wants to sleep with other men. A married man might love his wife, but the sexual love a wife is craving from her husband does not exist the way she wants or believes it should exist especially if this type of infidelity occurs after the coupled exchanged wedding vows to be married. There are always signs of men who have a sexual attraction for another man. However, you have to open your eyes and find out who your spouse truly is before you enter into marriage.
Attributes of Counseling Before Marriage
One way to discover whether your significant partner is ready to be married is to participate in marriage counseling. In essence, you are treating your marriage as a long term investment and gathering as much information about your spouse before you enter into marriage. As illustrated above, love has many meanings and people marry for different reasons. Just because someone says “I love you” is not all you need to know to venture into marriage. What a man and woman need to find out from each other is what type of love exists and is it reciprocally felt. If your potential spouse only feels an admiration for you and you feel romantic love for that person, then you need to find this out before you venture into marriage and not get married to the person. Also, what are the reasons why the man and woman are getting married and is it reciprocal. If your potential spouse wants to get married to obtain citizenship and you want to get married public declaration of love, then you need to find this out before you venture into marriage and not get married to this person.
Ideally, married couples expect their spouses to solely want them only. They believe their spouse will be the complement human being to help fulfill their needs mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. No one is perfect, but the union of a man and woman is expected to be one that works to perfection as seen in God’s light. When married men cheat on the down low, there is an erotic and sexual attraction for people of the same sex that their wife can’t fulfill. A potential spouse needs to know this before hand and not marry the individual especially if they seek their spouse to solely want them only.
Effective marriage counseling will be able to discover the compatibility of the couple. Marriage counseling should emphasize substance over form. The counseling should explore the type of love that exists and if it is reciprocally felt. Also, marriage counseling should explore the reasons why each person wants to marry and whether it is reciprocal. Furthermore, there is nothing wrong with doing an extensive background check on people before getting married. When you choose to marry someone, you are making a societal and private contract that this individual is someone you will honor and cherish, to have and to hold, until death do you part. With any type of long term investment, you need to know what you are getting into. This is not to say that marriages will not have problems, but if you choose someone to be married to you, you are making a long term investment in that individual expecting that the good will outweigh the bad. Know what you are getting into so you canminimize suffering betrayals like having married men cheat on the down low.
Legal Disclaimer: This site provides information about the law designed to keep readers informed of pertinent legal matters affecting the African-American community. But legal information is not the same as legal advice — the application of law to an individual’s specific circumstances. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, we recommend you consult a lawyer in your specific location if you want professional assurance that our information, and your interpretation of it, is appropriate to your particular situation.
[1]http://www.nypost.com/seven/01132009/news/regionalnews/knick_gets_called_for_sex_foul_149982.htm
[2] http://www.coverthemovie.com/
[3] http://www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi3195994137/
[4] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Love
[5] Id.
[6] Id.
[7] Id.
[8] Id.
[9] Id.
[10] Id.
[11] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_(religious_views)
[12] Id.
[13] Id.
[14] Id.
[15] Id.
[16] Id.
[17] Id.
[18] Id.
[19] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eros_(love)
[20] Id.
[21] Id.
[22] Id.
[23] Id.
[24] Id.
[25] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage
[26] Id.
[27] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_views_of_marriage
[28] Id.
[29] Id.
[30] 1 Corinthians 6:9
Your Black President: Search is Over for Obama Daughter Look-a-like
Ariel Binns is cute, smart, outgoing and looks remarkably like first daughter Sasha Obama.
Young model Ariel Binns, right, resembles Sasha Obama.
The similarity has not gone unnoticed by the fashion industry. Harper’s Bazaar magazine cast the 6-year-old Brooklyn, New York, first-grader with model Tyra Banks in a photo spread showing an African-American family in the White House.
Binns, a child model, was peering out from under a big wooden desk in an image reminiscent of John F. Kennedy’s time in office.
When it comes to fashion there’s nothing like a powerful brand to boost sales, especially if that brand is a dynamic first family.
“Marketers are finally waking up to it — you know — black is beautiful,” says global branding expert David Rogers who predicts African-American models will play a more prominent role in fashion photography as a direct result of the Obamas. “It’s just going to become part of the fabric of the fashion imagery of pop culture, which is a great thing,” says Rogers. 
Watch young first daughter look-alike model »
At Wilhelmina Kids, a modeling agency in New York for kids and teens, agents say there is increased demand for first daughter look-alikes.
“It’s a trend because, what little girl doesn’t want to emulate the first kids?” said Marlene Wallach, president of Wilhelmina, which represents Binns.
Unlike the Bush twins or Chelsea Clinton, global branding experts say the appeal of the Obama girls is unique — and infinitely marketable. After the first kids appeared in their J.Crew outfits on Inauguration Day, the company’s Web site got so many hits, it crashed.
Black Women Beauty Tips
Lady Drama: Daily Scoop on Chrisanna
Rihanna performed last night at the Pepsi Smash Super Bowl Bash XLIII Bash in Tampa, Florida last night. Check out the pics from her performance below:
I think she’s feeling herself a little too much on this pic
Girl you better sing!!!
While Rihanna was performing her boo Chris was partying it up in Paris with another chick. Looks like Rih Rih better get her man in check.
I guess Chris figured if he can’t be with Rihanna he might as well get the next best thing, a Rihanna wannabe.
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Posted By N. Taylor to Your Black Gossip at 1/30/2009 03:31:00 PM
Your Black Money: Black Hair Should Be a Black Business
The Black Hair industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. This industry has created other revenue generating vessels such as, conferences, schools, distribution, competitions, marketing, and even research. With an industry that is so huge and driven by the black dollar, one would expect that this industry would be under the direct control of those that make it successful, the black race. However, it is not. Though blacks still control many of the hair salons and barbershops, there is still a major disparity in many of the other businesses within this industry. Plus, recent trends have begun to emerge in the marketplace that threatens the ownership of those two entities. There is a new business model for salons, Korean-Owned and Black-Operated. This new model is growing rapidly and becoming a success among the community. While customers can continue to receive services from a familiar black stylist, the dollar ultimately goes to the Korean community.
It’s absolutely not a bad thing that Koreans are becoming fierce competitors and business owners in this black industry, so standing on the sidelines boycotting these establishments or calling for them to discontinue is a way that further perpetuates the blacks’ “right to survivorship” thinking. Blacks should not expect to be able to merely sit on a golden egg that was handed to them and not expect others to want a piece of it. The golden egg must be protected and guarded like the lion guards its kill from the hyena. Since the system we live under a capitalist system, the way a person or group rises to great wealth and sustainability is through competitive edges. Is this true? The retail segment of the black hair business is another entity that works to cipher the dollar from black community and be sent elsewhere. After research of over 800 black served beauty supply stores, we uncovered an ownership base of less than 5%. Of these same stores during a 6-month evaluation we found more than 97% of black consumers.
Is this a huge snowballing problem that should be addressed? Do blacks have the resources and opportunities within their communities but are simply not harnessing these opportunities? The problem of a low number of retail stores does not begin there. It begins at the distribution level. There is still a significant amount of black manufacturers of products but once these products leave the black manufacturers, they are placed in the hands of Korean distributors then the problem begins. Once the Korean distributors get a hold of the products they do two things: 1. They selectively distribute the products to retailers and sometimes at different prices. 2. They study the black products and soon create prototypes and begin marketing these prototypes to their huge Korean retailer base. Lucky White, CEO of Kizure Products, has boasted this as being one of her major dilemmas in her business slowdown. She is not only being competed against by other equipment manufacturers, the distributors are acting as lobbyist for her competitor.
In an industry that resulted in billions due to pioneer, Madame C.J. Walker, a black woman born into poor conditions in the early 20th century, one would expect the blueprint to this industry to be studied and executed by blacks across America but sadly this has not been the case. Why? It is not as simple as setting up shop and waiting for high profits anymore. Retail storeowners are facing many competitive obstacles such as capital, a large selection of products, and pricing. In most cases, getting an account with a Korean distributor as a Black person means you face an uphill battle. First, the distributor must approve your location before agreeing to supply your store. If they agree, now payments must be made in cash upfront with no delayed terms of payment. This is perhaps the hugest obstacle a new black storeowner faces. Then, this is a rippling effect. If distributors are consuming the capital instantly, then there is less available for the new black owner to obtain an abundant variation of products. Lastly, the pricing advantage many Korean stores are able to provide for the black consumer keeps them coming back over and over again, showing very little regard to a black storeowner down the block. This pricing advantage is also a resource for the Koreans because of the relationship they have with the Korean distributors.
However, the nail has not yet been driven into the coffin of the black lockout of their stake in this industry. I am living proof. I emotionally entered into this industry when I was thrown out of a Korean-Owned beauty supply store while I was attempting to make a huge purchase for my salon. The owner felt uncomfortable with me browsing and being selective. His frustration grew to rage so he then threatened me with a golf club eventually throwing me out of his store. Like many black men, I didn’t know of the huge lockout that took place in this industry until I had already signed a $5,000 lease for a location. My uphill battle began as distributors wanted cash and many didn’t even return my phone calls. Little did many of them know my persistence is abnormal. I took daytrips on airlines to physically walk into locations in New York and Miami until I got what I wanted. My goal was to give our community options in shopping while receiving the respect they deserved. My one location turned into three in 18 short months. Trial and error was my ally. As I learned, I perfected. Here a few things that an aspiring owner can implement.
Communicate with other owners – Find other owners willing to communicate with you in your market and even throughout the country. They are more than willing to share valuable information with you and you should do the same.
Automate the Store – In this fast-paced era, do not rely on spreadsheets and manual inventory tracking. This can slowdown your customer fulfillment process and tie up valuable time that could be used elsewhere.
Be a competitive and creative owner – Do not do what the next guy is doing, do what he isn’t. Establish store niches.
Establish Non-Competitive Clauses – Secure your market share within your mall at the least. Do not leave the gate wide open.
Manage the Cash Effectively – From your gross, pre-allocate percentages for capital expenditures, marketing, taxes, procurement, payroll, etc and have different bank accounts for each one with the monies being deposited systematically. Do not rely on self to divvy up or disburse the funds as you receive revenue.
Form Alliances Outside the Black Hair Industry – I once went to a children’s theme park with my sons and discovered that a local pizza franchise provided the pizzas for the business at a discounted rate. These opportunities exist for beauty storeowners as well. I established plenty. One place is funeral homes.
Seek Consulting – Never think you know it all. I had two beauty storeowners that acted as my mentors for the first year. I compensated them for intense assistance but for quick advice they were glad to help. Expect nothing for free. Allocate funds for this too.
Location, Location, Location – Do not pick a convenient location for you, pick a convenient location for the customer. There are moneymaking opportunities even when there is an existing beauty store. Don’t be afraid of the competition. The way you operate may be the way the customers in that market prefer.
Though I have highlighted distribution as the component needed, it is not the way to launching strategic efforts, and neither is boycotting. Building up the amount of black-owned retail stores is the first step in a strategic plan like this. The demand must first be created if a black distribution plant is to be successful. The black hair business is a cash cow but in its current state the cow is jumping over the moon with the moneybag heading to other communities.
Devin Robinson is the author of Taking it Back: How to Become a Successful Black Beauty Supply Store Owner who resides in Atlanta, GA. Visit his website athttp://www.takingitbackblack.com/.
Your Black Celebrities: J-Hud Makes Big Return in Super Bowl
The moment we all have been waiting for has finally come. Jennifer Hudson sung the National Anthem earlier tonight during Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa, and as we all expected she sung her a*s off.
Check out the pics and performance below:
She is looking GORGEOUS and a lot slimer these days
Sang girl!!!
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Posted By N. Taylor to Your Black Gossip at 2/01/2009 10:27:00 PM
Lady Drama: Biggie’s Mama Tells Lil Kim to "Sit Down"
I guess Voletta Wallace is getting fed up, just like the rest of us, with all the drama surrounding her son’s biopic “Notorious”. In a recent interview with Hip-Hop Weekly Ms. Wallace puts Lil’ Kim on blast and let’s her know how she really feels.
Read what she had to say below:
“She felt the character we chose for her was ‘too dark,’ ” Wallace said. “Do you know why the character was too dark for her? Because she’s a white woman trapped in a black woman’s body, and you can tell the world I said it, because those are Lil’ Kim’s words. She should be ashamed of herself.”
“Tell Lil’ Kim to go find herself, go drink a cup of green tea and get a life!” Wallace went on. “This movie is not about Lil’ Kim. She felt we used her character to promote [but] this movie is about my son. … Lil’ Kim needs to go sit down.”
I am starting to feel sorry for Kim b/c it seems like everyone is ganging up on her, first Charli B. and now Ms. Wallace.
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Posted By N. Taylor to Your Black Gossip at 1/30/2009 04:08:00 PM
Your Black Health: HIV Infection Rates for Black Men are "Alarming"
The rate of new HIV infections among young gay or bisexual black men is significantly higher than new infections among whites and Hispanics of the same age, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced Thursday.
“The number of new HIV infections among young black men who have sex with men is alarming,” Dr. Kevin Fenton, director of the CDC’s National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD and TB Prevention said during a new teleconference.
Among black males aged 13 to 29, the incidence of HIV infection was 1.6 times higher than that of whites and 2.3 times higher than for Hispanics, according to findings published in the Sept. 12 issue of the CDC’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report.
Forty-eight percent of new infections among black men were among those aged 13 to 29, compared with 31 percent for whites and 21 percent for Hispanics. This finding highlights the need to reach men at an early age and teach them about HIV prevention, Fenton said.
“There were more new HIV infections in black men who have sex with men between the ages of 13 and 29 than any other group of men who have sex with men, regardless of race or age,” Dr. Richard Wolitski, acting director of the CDC’s division of HIV/AIDS Prevention, added during Thursday’s teleconference.
Your Black Women: Serena Williams Wins Another One
Serena Williams routed Dinara Safina 6-0, 6-3 Saturday to win the Australian Open for her 10th Grand Slam title and a return to the No. 1 ranking.
It was total domination for the second-seeded Williams, who moved fluidly on the court and looked at ease in winning back-to-back majors, including the U.S. Open title in September.
“I absolutely, clearly, love playing here,” the 27-year-old Williams said. “You guys root for me so much. I don’t get that everywhere. So thank you so much.”
Williams becomes only the seventh woman with double-digit Grand Slam singles titles. She leads all active players and broke a tie with two greats of the game — 2009 Hall of Fame inductee Monica Seles and Maureen Connolly — who each won nine majors.
Justine Henin was the last to win back-to-back major singles titles, at the 2003 U.S. Open and 2004 Australian Open.
Williams’ near-perfect performance was in sharp contrast to No. 3 Safina, who was tight from the start. Later apologizing to the crowd for her performance, Safina said Williams was just too good, leaving her feeling like a ballboy.
Your Black Health: Black Women with HIV – The Psychological Side
Managing the psychological and social aspects of HIV/AIDS is as important as medical treatment in helping black women cope with the disease, a new research report shows.
Black women who are supported by nonprofit organizations are more likely to think of themselves as “living with the disease” rather than dying from it, and live longer than those who don’t have that support, according to the Northwestern University study.
“So I am trying to think of HIV as not just a medical condition that needs to be managed, but a social condition that needs to be managed,” said Celeste Watkins-Hayes, an assistant professor at Northwestern.
Her research is to be published in “Sex, Power and Taboo: Gender and HIV in the Caribbean and Beyond.”
Black women are the largest racial/ethnic group diagnosed with HIV in Chicago, according to a report released in November by the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. Citywide 79 percent of 316 women diagnosed with the disease in 2006 were black. Total HIV cases diagnosed that year, the most recent for which data is available, were 1,557.
Black Judge Takes Heat for Drunk Driving Racial Slurs
The case of E. Curtissa R. Cofield, the Superior Court judge accused of using racially charged language during her drunken driving arrest, has slipped off the news pages in recent months. But that could soon change.
Two state institutions, both with extraordinary influence over judicial appointments, have begun looking into the circumstances of Cofield’s Oct. 9 arrest on Route 2 in Glastonbury, according to a half-dozen lawyers and other officials familiar with the matter.
The attention of both institutions is focused on what the officials have described as a potentially explosive video recording of Cofield made at the Glastonbury Police Department. Although the recording has not yet become public, sources have said that Cofield, who is black, spoke in a racially demeaning fashion with police officers involved in her arrest.
The state Judicial Review Council, which is empowered under state law to punish judges for unprofessional conduct, has opened an investigation of the circumstances surrounding Cofield’s arrest, the officials said.
The council has the authority to issue a subpoena compelling Glastonbury police to provide it with the recording. If the council has not yet obtained the video, it is almost certain to do so in the near future, the officials said. Ross Garber, council chairman, refused to discuss the matter.
Genma Holmes: Nancy Grace Temporarily Breaks Her Obsession w Caylee Anthony
by Genma Holmes, YourBlackWorld
In today’s world, many individuals can deliver the news. News anchors, reporters, journalists, bloggers and talent disguised as cable hosts and then there is Nancy Grace. Nancy Grace is in a genre by herself. She is the only person on television that covers missing kids with some facts and any rumor that can be found on the streets. I am convinced that CNN’s Nancy Grace is obsessed with Caylee Anthony and needs psychiatric counseling immediately. With little objectivity and even less professionalism, Nancy conducts interviews equivalent to face offs. Nancy Grace, a former prosecutor, makes me wonder if she believes she can bypass the courts and send anyone straight to jail via her TV show.
Nancy Grace has a special way of making you hate to watch her and hate to miss the next show. Since July, her acid tongue has been fixated on the Anthony family complete with swirling pictures and videos on the TV screen. As a self professed news junkie, I can watch any show on any network with an open mind. But I can only watch Nancy Grace in short intervals. Nancy has become as creepy as a pedophile showing the pictures of Caylee throughout her show. Speaking of perverts, she closes the show to Michael Jackson’s song “Gone Too Soon”. The irony of that is too long to discuss in this posting. I often find myself begging my TV screen to show a child of color missing as if it would answer back.
Click to read.