Jennifer (name changed) didn’t have sex with her ex-husband on their wedding night. "I chalked it up to fatigue," she says. But should it have been a red flag? Well, maybe.
It’s not that it didn’t happen that one night that was the problem; it’s that it was the first of many sexless married nights. As an engaged couple, Jennifer and her fiancé were doing it about three times a week, but once they said their vows, it quickly dwindled to about once a month — sometimes less.
Some experts call marriages that average 10 rolls in the hay per year or less "sexless," but other experts take the word more literally, like Susan Yager-Berkowitz, who coauthored (with her husband) "Why Men Stop Having Sex: The Phenomenon of Sexless Relationships and What You Can Do About It."
I was supposed to get married last year, but my fiance called off the wedding weeks before the ceremony. He said that I was not passionate enough, but he refuses to leave, constantly telling me what I don’t do and what I can’t do and what I won’t do. There is so much animosity between us that I don’t think we could ever get past it. Do you have any suggestions on how we could make it work or if it is even worth it?
Calling off the wedding the month you are supposed to get married is a sign that your fiance was not ready, and he is now blaming his uncertainty on you. Pointing the finger at your spouse is a surefire way to create division and animosity in a relationship. These are all tactics used to push a person away, and it seems that your fiance has no intention of truly saving the relationship. His decision to stay in a mini-marriage and not be married, all the while verbally and emotionally abusing you, sounds like he wants you to end the relationship so that he will not be responsible for its failure. If you want to heal this relationship, you will need a relationship couples coach, and if you decide to end it, I would recommend that you work with a coach to heal the wounds created by all of this emotional turmoil. In the meantime, ask him what his true fears are concerning marriage. Any emotionally stable person knows that you cannot change your partner; you can only change yourself. Taking responsibility for his role in the type of relationship he helped to create would have been the empowering way to address this situation. He could have chosen to approach you differently and been open to sharing his needs for passion and other forms of intimacy with you instead of laying the blame on you for his own cold feet.
But one thing is inevitable: Eventually you have to move on. So why is it that some people have a hard time letting go, months or even years after ending a relationship? Although it’s natural to mourn the loss of a relationship, some people take such feelings too far.
One example at the extreme end of the spectrum, is Lisa Nowak. The former NASA astronaut and married mother of three was accused earlier this year of trying to kidnap the woman who was dating Nowak’s former lover, Navy Cmdr. Bill Oefelein.
Nowak — who is awaiting trial — pleaded not guilty to attempted kidnapping, battery and assault, and the defense has filed notice of intent to claim temporary insanity by citing obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, insomnia and a brief psychotic disorder.
Candace Parker is wearing a simple white dress and the biggest smile imaginable. She is cradling her belly, which carries her unborn child, as she poses for this cover of a magazine aimed at readers who expect to see LeBron or Manny.
But on the cover of the issue of ESPN the Magazine that will be on newsstands Friday it is Parker, the Sparks star, who will look the buyer in the eye beside the headline, "How Big Can Candace Parker Get?"
"I’m proud of my child, excited about my child and I’m excited about the opportunity to have a child and be an athlete," said Parker, 22, on Wednesday. She is home in Los Angeles now, settled in to wait for this first child for her and husband Shelden Williams, a forward for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
Click the image to watch the video. In this clip, Dr. Boyce Watkins appears on CNN to say that “Chris Brown is not a monster”.
Rihanna’s attorney says the singer would testify against Chris Brown if called as a witness in her boyfriend’s assault case. Donald Etra, who is representing the 21-year-old Barbados native, said Friday that Rihanna would be required by law to testify if prosecutors subpoena her.
Etra appeared in court Thursday when Brown made his first appearance on charges of assaulting and making criminal threats to his superstar girlfriend. Brown’s arraignment was postponed until April 6.
Etra said Rihanna did not want a "no contact" order issued against Brown, but that she will report any violations of an order prohibiting the 19-year-old singer from threatening, harassing or harming his girlfriend. A court order grants her the authority to record any violations of the order.
The order is not uncommon in cases where a victim says he or she doesn’t want to completely cut off communication with a person, said Steve Cron, a Santa Monica criminal defense attorney who has represented celebrities such as Paula Poundstone and Scott Weiland.
"There are limits to when you can record phone calls and conversations," Cron said. "She can record those conversations if it’s for the purpose of showing there’s a violation of the restraining order."
Etra said Rihanna, whose real name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty, wants the case over with quickly. "She wants to get along with her life and career," he said.
Dr Boyce Watkins will be on CNN today with Rick Sanchez at 3 pm discussing domestic violence on college campuses and in the Black community. As you know, this is an issue that matters to Dr. Watkins and is a critical component of his Scholarship in Action campaign to improve the lives of college students.
To get more information on Dr. Watkins and his work, please visit www.BoyceWatkins.com
Did Chris Brown and Rihanna get married while they were in Miami over the weekend?
Star magazine is reporting that the couple, who are currently weathering a firestorm of controversy after supposedly reconciling post-alleged beating incident, were secretly married while staying at Diddy’s Star Island house in Miami.
Brown and Rihanna reportedly had a tearful meeting in which Brown is said to have apologized for physically attacking her, and proposed to her.
And the 20-year-old singer reportedly forgave him.
Rihanna is ready to testify on Chris Brown’s behalf, will admit to her part in the incident.
According to MediaTakeOut.com – Rihanna has agreed to "speak to the [prosecutor's] on Chris’ behalf." The snitch continued, “Rihanna doesn’t want this to go any further, she will be speaking to [prosecutors] and – if need be – admit to her part in the [incident].”
Seems that Tyrese’s estranged wife Norma Mitchell is taking him for every penny that he has. Ty has to pay Norma $65,000 a month, and in addition to this he has to pay $6,230 a month in child support, her rent ($2,730), and her car payment ($800). Not to mention Tyrese only makes $800,000 a year. Prior to their 10 month marriage Norma signed a pre-nup, but from the looks of things it has not been beneficial for Ty.
In the midst of a domestic assault case, Chris Brown and Rihanna have reported reunited after nearly three weeks since he allegedly battered her the day of the Grammys.
According to People, the couple are together again, and currently spending time with each other at one of Diddy’s homes in Miami — specially Miami Beach’s Star Island.
A source said: "While Chris is reflective and saddened about what happened, he is really happy to be with the woman he loves."
Photos of Brown in Miami popped up on TMZ Saturday (February 28), further confirming his location.
Misdemeanor or felony?
As police wind down their investigation of Chris Brown in the alleged beating of Rihanna earlier this month, ultimately the injuries suffered by the victim will determine whether the singer faces a charge carrying a likely penalty of probation — or time behind bars.
So far, no charges of any sort have been filed against Brown, 19, who was arrested Feb. 8 in Los Angeles after allegedly assaulting the R&B star. He was booked by police for making criminal threats — a felony — but the case has not yet been presented to the District Attorney, who will ultimately determine which charges, if any, will be prosecuted.
According to the NY Daily News:
Chris called Rihanna to wish her a happy birthday,” an insider tells us. “He’s absolutely trying to get back into her good graces. He knows he’s very much in the doghouse right now, and is doing everything he can to show her how sorry he is.”
But Brown seems to think a few well-placed birthday gifts can salve his ex’s wounds. He has already sent the “Good Girl Gone Bad” singer a diamond bracelet and necklace, an insider tells us, as well as an iPod Touch. Plus, Brown’s mom, Joyce, who is said to adore Rihanna, sent over a bouquet of flowers.”
Yeah, we’re pretty sure Rihanna already own an iPod for Goddsakes, and while the jewelry and flowers were nice, we’re just not sure this erases everything Chris. Nice try, though.
A week after allegedly beating and bruising his pop-star girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown finally released an apologetic statement Sunday via a representative that also discounted media reports claiming he’d commented about the incident on Facebook.
Chris Brown leaves his hotel on January 31, 2009 in Dublin, Ireland. A week after reportedly beating and bruising his pop star girlfriend, Rihanna, Chris Brown finally released a statement via his spokesperson.
"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person," Brown said in the statement released Sunday evening.
"Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong," the statement said. "While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writings under my name are frauds."
While Rihanna has yet to speak out about the alleged fight, her father, Ronald Fenty, said that Brown hit her in an interview with People magazine Saturday. Describing Rihanna’s current condition after seeing her Thursday, Fenty said, "There is some bruising. She will be all right. I think so." "At some point, she will speak out. I hope she will stand up for women all over the world," he said.
For over a week it seems that everyone but Chris Brown and Rihanna had something to say about their domestic violence incident, but Chris has finally broken his silence. Chris released a statement earlier today, check out what he had to say below.
“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writing under my name are frauds.”
I am definitely glad to see that he is seeking help, and I kind of feel a little sorry for him.
Posted By N. Taylor to Your Black Gossip at 2/15/2009 08:59:00 PM
R&B superstar couple Rihanna and Chris Brown have recently found themselves even more in the spotlight due to their private-turned-public "disturbia" situation. After reports surfaced that Brown allegedly injured the singer to the point where she had to be treated at a "major medical facility" after a quarrel, readers took to the blogs to surprisingly defend the male sex symbol. Since the emergence of the story, we’ve received over 150 comments regarding the situation.
WHITNEY wrote: I’M STILL GOING TO SUPPORT CHRIS BROWN UNTIL THE END. I DONT CARE IF HE DID IT OR NOT. OBVIOUSLY SHE PROVOKED HIM AND EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES SO, IM NOT GOING TO DOWN TALK HIM NOR TRY TO BRING HIM DOWN LIKE THE WHITE MEDIA IS GOING TO. HE’S STILL A KID. KIDS MAKE DUMB CHOICES EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. GIVE THE KID A BREAK IT’S HIS FIRST TIME IN HIS 4 YEAR CAREER.
shukura wrote: By the way, from what I understand Chris Brown is not from the ghetto and and domestic violence happens everywhere. For anyone to suggest that only ghetto people hit their mates is ludicrous. Gosh, why do people always have to resort to racism when something happens in the news. It gets old and very tired.
The wife of R&B singer Usher continues to recover in a Sao Paulo hospital after suffering a cardiac arrest shortly before undergoing plastic surgery, the spokeswoman of the doctor who was to perform the procedure said Thursday.
Ellen Dastry, spokeswoman for plastic surgeon Silvio Sterman, says Tameka Raymond checked into the Sao Rafael Hospital last Friday for a "simple liposuction." Dastry said that Raymond suffered a cardiac arrest while being anesthetized for the procedure "but was revived in less than a minute by heart massage." She was then placed in an induced coma before being taken to the intensive-care unit, a procedure Dastry said was "absolutely normal" and performed in order to "avoid unnecessary complications."
New details are emerging about Chris and Rihanna’s domestic dispute that happened during Grammy Night! According to what Rihanna has said in a police report Chris has been abusive before! Read below for the juice via hollyscoop:
According to Police reports, Rihanna claims that Chris has hit her in the past and she referred to it as an ongoing and escalating abusive relationship.
When Rihanna first spoke to LAPD she refused to tell them what started the argument that night. We’ve now learned that it was the result of another woman sending Chris a text message about meeting up later on in the night.
During the argument, according to the police report, she ordered him to drive her home and “faked a call” to someone, saying things like, “He’s dropping me off. Make sure the cops are there,” reports TMZ. This enraged Chris.
He then said something to the effect of “You are really fu**ed up now. I’m going to kill you.” That’s when Chris allegedly began his violent attack with his fists.
At some point during the attack Rihanna took the car keys out of the ignition and threw them outside. He reportedly went outside to look for them, and returned back to the car and allegedly choked her. That’s when she lost consciousness and a witness called 911.
Based on Rihanna’s statement and her injuries Chris will definitely face a felony domestic battery charge, but it’s unclear at this time whether or not that’s the only charge he’ll get because evidence that he made criminal threats against Rihanna is kind of thin.
Damn hate to say I told ya so but damn I TOLD YA’LL ASSES he had to have hit her before for it to escalate to this! I blame publicity for trying to make these kids seem perfect! SHIT happens! I’m also hearing Chris’ music is being yanked from airwaves due to his recent legal issues! Damn just when we thought no one could f*ck up their career more than R.Kelly or Kobe Bryant, Chris comes along and does this
In more Chris and Rihanna news a website called contact music is reporting that Jay Z is furious about the recent incident with Rihanna (like we didn’t already know that)! In any event read the juice below:
CHRIS BROWN is set to incur the wrath of hip-hop king JAY-Z over his alleged assault on R&B star RIHANNA. Brown was arrested on Sunday (08Feb09) for felony battery after an incident with an as yet unidentified woman, reported to be Rihanna, in a vehicle in Los Angeles.
And Jay-Z, who discovered and mentored Rihanna, was reportedly enraged upon hearing the allegations, warning of retributions for Brown. A source tells Us Weekly magazine, “He hit the roof. Chris is a walking dead man. He messed with the wrong crew.”
I’ll just be glad when this is a wrap because like the elastic on some old undies it’s getting stretched out to capacity!
Posted By Lady Drama to Your Black Gossip at 2/11/2009 08:40:00 AM
R&B star Rihanna is cooperating with investigators building a domestic violence case against her boyfriend, the singer Chris Brown, a police source said Monday.
The source said the 20-year-old performer, whose full name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty, was providing "ongoing" cooperation to detectives who booked Brown on Sunday on suspicion of making criminal threats against her.
An early morning altercation with Brown after a pre-Grammy Awards party left Rihanna with bruises and a scratch on her face, according to police sources. She was treated at a "major medical facility," a police source said.
Brown, 19, has a double-platinum record and dance moves often compared to Michael Jackson’s. He fled before officers arrived, police said.
He remained free on $50,000 bail, but neither he nor his attorney would speak about allegations that rocked the Grammys ceremony. Brown and Rihanna were both nominated; neither attended the ceremony.
The fight occurred after midnight on a quiet block in Hancock Park, where Brown had stopped a rented Lamborghini he was driving. According to police, several people saw or heard a loud, violent confrontation. The luxury car was impounded because the alleged assault may have begun in the vehicle, a police source said.
Seems like there are going to be a few big time artist missing from this years Grammys. Chris Brown won’t be in attendance because of his investigation, Rihanna won’t be either, and now it looks like Usher won’t be. Usher canceled his performance at Clive Davis’s Annual Pre-Grammy party due to a "family emergency", which involved his wife Tameka. It has been reported that Tameka is experiencing complication from her recent plastic surgery, but these reports haven’t been confirmed. Now I usually don’t have anything nice to say about her but I hope she has a safe and speedy recovery.
The above pictures show Rihanna and Chris at both the gas station and leaving Clive Davis pre-grammy party in Chris’s Lambo. This was all just minutes before the alleged attack.
Various media outlets are confirming that Rihanna is indeed the reported victim, as everyone speculated. The LAPD is expected to give a briefing on the case later on this evening (PST).
As I reported earlier Chris has been charged with one count felony criminal threats however new reports state Chris will likely also be charged with a Deadly Weapons charge. According to several outlets the report is stating Rihanna who’s real name is (Robyn Rihanna Fenty) is the victim. These charges could result in up to 9 years in prison for Chris. Chris’s court date has been set to March 5th.
Of course Rumors are spreading stating that Rihanna gave Chris Herpes, being that she was spotted with a cold sore a few weeks back, drunken fight, and to a jealous rage and fight due to another man/woman being in the picture.
Word is also that this is not the first time that their relationship has gotten physical.
Chris has discussed openly about how his stepfather was physically abusive toward his mother. Chris has also secured high powered attorney Mark Geragos, the same lawyer for Michael Jackson who helped him defeat those molestation charges.
****Chris Brown Being Investigated for Felony Battery (LINK)
THIS story is still developing
On the day Tiger Woods usually hoists a trophy at Torrey Pines, the world’s No. 1 golfer was busy with the birth of his first son.
Woods announced on his Web site early Monday that his wife, Elin, had given birth to a boy, Charlie Axel Woods. It is the couple’s second child following the birth of daughter Sam Alexis in June 2007 on the day after the U.S. Open.
“Elin and I are thrilled to announce the birth of our son, Charlie Axel Woods, who was born on Sunday February 8, 2009,” Woods wrote in the statement. “Both Charlie and Elin are doing great and we want to thank everyone for their sincere best wishes and kind thoughts. Sam is very excited to be a big sister and we feel truly blessed to have such a wonderful family.
“I also want to thank our doctors, nurses and the hospital staff for their personal and professional care. We look forward to introducing Charlie to you at the appropriate time, and again thanks from all of us for your kindness and support.”
Chris Brown is under investigation for alleged domestic violence felony battery, the LAPD confirms to PEOPLE.
“The identity of the victim will not be released,” said Officer April Harding. “Any victim who’s involved in a domestic violence incident is entitled to confidentiality.”
Around 12:30 a.m. on Sunday, the R&B singer and a woman were in a vehicle in L.A. when they became involved in an argument, according to a police statement. After stopping his car, Brown and the woman got out and the argument escalated. The woman suffered visible injuries and identified Brown as her attacker, according to police.
The LAPD received a 911 call reporting the disturbance.When officers arrived they found the victim, but Brown had already left the scene, the statement reads. The LAPD is conducting an investigation into the incident. Earlier Saturday night Brown and girlfriend Rihanna were at the Recording Academy and Clive Davis’s Pre-Grammy Gala in Beverly Hills.
Liz Bowles/Sun Journal
Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher have set a world record as the oldest living couple married the longest.
September 13, 2008 – 10:48PM
Sun Journal Staff
A Craven County couple are in the Guinness World Records book.
The two did nothing outlandish such as sky-diving upside down, dancing for days, taking the longest lawn mower ride or having the most tattoos.
No, Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of the Brownsville community have been married for more than 84 years. That is a feat in itself.
They have the world record of the longest marriage for a living couple.
They can thank their granddaughter Iris Godette for getting the recognition. She submitted the information to the Guinness Book of Records..
The information was apparently checked by Guinness and a certificate was given to the couple.
However, when you ask Herbert about the Guinness recognition, he just says, “Oh, Yeah?” The recognition has not changed their life.
He still looks at her with love and concern, as she looks toward him as if he will give her strength and guidance.
They have lived for more than 50 years in a house near the Coastal Carolina Regional Airport . They lived in James City before that but the land was purchased for apartments and the two moved.
Herbert was born June 10, 1905. His hearing is going but his mind is sharp. Zelmyra was born Dec. 10, 1907. She uses a walker to get around the house and yard. The two of them can still give their reasons for marrying on May 13, 1924.
“He was not mean; he was not a fighter,” Zelmrya said. “He was quiet and kind. He was not much to look at but he was sweet.”
Herbert said Zelmyra never gave him any trouble. “No, no trouble at all. We never argued, but we might have disagreed,” he said.
Norma Godette, one of the couple’s five children. said her parents have gotten along well through the years.
“One time, mama wanted to work. Daddy told her she could not work, that he could take care of the family. She slipped down to Cherry Point and got a job as a caretaker there,” Godette said.
“Well, it was done; she got the job. I had to let it be,” Herbert said.
Different religions did not tear the two apart. He is a member of Pilgrim Chapel Missionary Baptist Church . She is a member of Jones Chapel African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church . The churches are in James City , where they both grew up. For all of their married life they have attended their own churches. They go their own ways on Sunday morning.She reads the Bible daily.
The two watch television together. “We separate when the baseball comes on,” Zelmyra said.
Herbert loves baseball, especially the Atlanta Braves. He also enjoys golf, because one of his son-in-laws plays the game.
They have no secret or sage advice as to why their marriage has lasted so long.
“I didn’t know I would be married this long,” Herbert said. “But I lived a nice holy life and go to church every Sunday.
“Yes sir, anything for her.”
Zelmyra said Herbert was the only boyfriend she ever had. “We got along good,” she said. “There was no trouble.”
She said she is not tired of seeing him. “I didn’t think I’d be married this long. He is quiet,” she said.
Zelmyra said her husband had no annoying habits. They both said they shared the title of “boss.”
The two sit on the porch and as a train goes by they count the cars. They also watch the neighbors who walk by.
“They were excellent parents,” said Norma Godette. “We were poor, but we didn’t do without a thing. If he had two cents he saved one cent.”Herbert worked as a mechanic at the Coca-Cola Bottling Company in New Bern for 35 years.
He took a bicycle, caught a cab or had a neighbor drive him to work.
That hard work and savings put all five of the children through college.
Inside the house are plaques, letters of recognition, and awards that both the Fishers and their children received for accomplishments in civic duties and church.
The house where they raised their children has two sitting rooms and three bedrooms. Now that the children are grown, the Fishers enjoy having a bedroom for each. Herbert Fisher can stay up until the last ball is thrown in the ballgame he is watching. And he does.
Herbert makes his bed each day and sweeps his floor.
He also checks on his wife as she rests.
Between the rests, they enjoy their children, ten grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren and nieces and nephews.
Both say that if they had it to do over, they would not change their life.